Before You Yell, Play 90 Minutes in Their Cleats

This was originally posted several years ago, but it is always relevant to talk to parents about their kid's involvement in sports! (also there's a little life lesson for EVERYONE at the end!)


Two things I observed over the past week (both at Shoreline Soccer) that gave me pause to consider my own behavior.

The first happened while Liam was a footwork clinic (put on by Dan McAllister of FC Joga Bonita). On the opposite field a game was being played by two girls teams; I would guess they were U8 (maybe U10). One dad was standing directly behind the goal loudly admonishing his daughter, the goalie, to play "better". Actually, he was yelling and screaming at her "use your hands", "go out", "cut the angle", etc. When the other team scored, he would throw his hands up in disgust and walk away... not aware that she had turned to see if he would tell her that it was okay.


Most striking to me about this situation was that I was fairly confident, based on the size of this man, that he would not be able to play goalie at any level of soccer. Quite frankly, I think his daughter was making saves that he couldn't dream of making.

The second incident happened last night at my own soccer game. I didn't have my "A" game (by the way, my A game would be considered a low C by most). We lost the game, partly due to my poor play on defense. I can't account for why I played poorly. I was putting forth a good effort, I didn't give up on plays, I was concentrating on having good technique, I talked to my team-mates; in short, I did everything a coach would tell a player to do, but I was just off. My shots were poor, my passes were a bit long or a bit short, my long balls into the box were nowhere near my teammates heads. It was frustrating.

Sometimes that happens. Sometimes I play well, sometimes I play poorly.

Here's where I'm going with all this. Over the years, I've watched/coached A LOT of youth soccer. Few things bother me more than the parents who take their kids to task for not playing well, when the parents have no idea what it is like to be out on the field. Most of the time, when a kid is not playing well, they know it. They're trying, but it's just not happening. Most of the time, they are putting forth their best effort, but their A game is simply escaping them.

It seems parents don't understand this, and I think it's because they have no idea what it is like to play a complete game within the context of a complete season.

My bad game won't bother me too much, because next week I'll have an opportunity to do better, and hopefully I will. My team-mates are always gracious with me, and so I'm comfortable knowing I wasn't great but maybe next time I'll be the one who picks the team up.

But if I was little Jimmy or little Suzie, and I had to hear my parents tell me how poorly I played after that game, I'm not sure I'd want to go back...

So there's this: PARENTS, BACK OFF!

but there's also this: Be really careful about drawing conclusions about someone (not just in soccer, but in all of life), until you've played 90 minutes in their cleats!

Avoid the Path That Leads to Death!

Thursday night at Camp Barakel, I talked with just the senior high guys. We discussed the direction of their lives by using a metaphor common to camp, the path. Here are the key ideas:

1. The paths you choose in life will determine your destination
Every decision you make is a choice to follow a path that is leading you somewhere. Your life's destination will be the culmination of all those decisions.

2. Every path leads to a destination
Some may think they can just "enjoy life" for a season and their decisions won't have consequences until they are "grown up". Wrong... If you choose the path of hard work and discipline your destination will be significantly different than he who chooses the path of parties and night life.

3. You may not see the destination, but you can see the path
You must be careful about the path you walk as it may lead you somewhere different than you think. We used the youth from Proverbs 7 as an example. The path he chose LOOKED good and FELT good and seemed to be going VERY WELL. But it ended with him being led as an ox to the slaughter, like a deer caught in a trap until an arrow pierces his liver... Be careful about the path you choose.

We closed with Proverbs 3:6-7: Trust in the LORD with all your heart and don't lean on your own understand. In all your ways follow Him and he will make your paths straight.

Go And Sin No More...Starting RIGHT NOW!

This weekend we examined the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery. Last week, I wrote about what it DOESN'T mean, and Saturday night I tried to talk about what it does mean (although I went much longer than I wanted to and skipped a part I didn't want to skip). You can listen to the sermon here.

This morning I came across this blog that dovetails nicely with the idea of "Go and sin no more!" You can read the entire post here (there are some good illustrations as well as some helpful thoughts), but I've excerpted out some of the really good stuff below:

...I spend a fair amount of time talking to people who are simultaneously feeling convicted of their sins and yet not quite ready to give them up, either. Come to think of it, most of us probably fit into this category in one way or another, even if our sinful indulgences may outwardly appear to be "lesser" somehow than those of, say, a prostitute or a heroin addict.

On the one hand, sinful behavior has brought tremendous suffering into our lives, typically in multiple categories: spiritual, emotional, financial, physical and relational. And yet, it is more often true than not that we are actively maintaining "differing kingdom allegiances" and will try - against all reason and sanity - to maintain a "bridge" of sorts to our destructive, sometimes deadly "pleasures" while keeping one foot in God's kingdom...or so we think

Any willingness on our part to maintain roads, bridges or other safe passages to a preferred lifestyle of sin, folly and rebellion against the living God is the clearest-possible outward sign that we have not (as of yet) fully surrendered our lives to the lordship of Christ.

Battling back against longterm sin does not normally take place in moments of high drama and riveting action. True repentance, it turns out, most often shows up in those unremarkable moments when we choose to take a different route home from work, decline an invitation from an old friend or give up control of our Saturday evening to an accountability partner.

These are really good thoughts, particularly, I like the idea that our battle against sin happens in more in the moment to moment battles of daily life, rather than the emotional/spiritual highs of church camps and worship services. I need to regularly be reminded that Jesus has already purchased my freedom, but He still calls on me to live that freedom out. That happens as I make the right decisions from day to day!

Who's Up For a Good Old Fashioned Stoning?

John 8:1-11 is the story of Jesus, the religious leaders, and the woman caught in adultery. This passage is often considered one of the more "controversial" passages in the New Testament. It's controversial because of the content of the story, as well as because of the questionable nature of it's place in the gospel of John. It's one of those passages about which the footnotes say, "The earliest and manuscripts and many other ancient witnesses do not have John 7:53-8:11".

I'm not going to go into detail regarding the textual controversy. If you want to learn more about it, here are some sources:

• This guy thinks Luke actually wrote the story.
• A scholarly approach which affirms the validity of the passage.
• A Christianity Today article that casts some doubt on the passage. (not reflective of my view...)

The other aspect of controversy regarding this passage is the way it is often misinterpreted(some think the reason it wasn't included in the original manuscripts was because some church leaders were concerned about the possibility it might be used to excuse sin). This morning, I'm just jotting down a few thoughts about what this passage DOES NOT teach:

1. It does not teach that sin is okay. Jesus never excused or condoned the woman's sin.

2. It does not teach that the law is obsolete. Jesus never said the law didn't apply to this situation.

3. It does not teach that we should not point out sin. Jesus never condemned the Pharisees for accusing the woman of adultery.

4. It does not teach that sin does not have consequences. Jesus' mercy did not eliminate the relational and familial consequences of the woman's sin.

5. It does not teach that organized religion is bad. I wish I didn't even have to point that one out.

So... what does it teach? I suppose I'll address that another time...

Is It Okay for God to Punish People for Sin?

I'm listening to an old sermon by Dr. Jim Grier (the most intelligent man I've ever known). He began by reading from Revelation 21:3:

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people."

Then he said this: "the earth was created to be the dwelling place of God."

You need to take just a minute and let that sink in. Think it through. Consider the ramifications.

Immediately, I began to think about how this informs the way we think about so many things. It should affect our view of ecology, it should affect our view of sustainability, and it should affect our view of sin.

Let me illustrate with a story.

There was a man who constructed his dream house. He poured all his resources into the house, and in the end it was a beautiful creation. The house was designed perfectly for the man and his family. Then he went away on a journey.

Before he left, he hired a caretaker for his house. "You are to represent me in this house," he said, "and when I return, there will be a room for you to live with us."

However, when the man returned, he found his house destroyed. The caretaker had abused the house, using it for his own pleasure and desires. He had ignored the instructions of the owner, and he and his friends had rendered the house uninhabitable for the owner and his family.

So the man destroyed the house, and re-created it. He lived there with his family. But he threw the caretaker out, and had him arrested, and prosecuted him to the full extent the law would allow.

Was the owner justified?

Is God justified?